Only complete idiots will like this ‘comedy’

Only complete idiots will like this 'comedy'

Picking the worst part of “Buddy Games” is like choosing meat at a Brazilian steakhouse. There are so many options, and they just keep on coming.

Is it when a paintball shoots through a man’s plainly visible privates? Or when a dude bites the tongue of a Komodo dragon? Or when another guy kills a cute ferret with his bare hands? Could it be when a lowbrow comedy kicks off with a man hospitalized for suicidal thoughts?

*Takes a sip of water*

Perhaps it’s the part where a pie is turned into an extended metaphor for a woman’s anatomy? What about the scene in which one bro shoots an arrow through his good friend’s hand?

Oh, I know! It’s definitely the moment a group of schlubs all have gross digestion issues on a dance floor after taking laxatives for a manly competition.

The battle? The Buddy Games, wherein six pals with names like Durfy (Dax Shepard), Doc (Kevin Dillon) and Bender (Nick Swardson) have an annual Olympics of Imbecility. It’s described by the ringleader, Bobfather (Josh Duhamel), in an opening narration as “blood, sweat and beer” and an opportunity to “ruthlessly demoralize our best buddies.” The movie offers an embarrassment of embarrassments.

The event was disbanded after one troubled buddy, Shelly (Dan Bakkedahl), was maimed by the aforementioned paintball. But, against the wishes of Bobfather’s suspiciously gorgeous wife Tiffany (Olivia Munn), the guys decide to resume the extremely dangerous games for another year to help Shelly deal with his self-harming behavior. Just what no doctor ordered!

Most of the movie, written and directed by Duhamel, is watching these disgusting feats of strength, while forming no bond with any of the dingus characters. The games themselves aren’t particularly inventive, either. They’re more like summer camp meets fraternity hazing with no good jokes.

Talk about toxic masculinity — “Buddy Games” leaves you feeling dead inside.